ALL THE NEWS UNFIT TO PRINT / 8th edition

Déja vu: The Sequel hits bestseller list again

Bed poses as double

U-turn lane declares, “My turn”

FOR SALE: Persian rug complete w/ Persian cat (one-piece set)

Spotlight sees floaters

Senator denies denying denial

Slinky signs StairMaster endorsement

Elephant walkathon issues “Dung happens” stickers

Junior Potato Head peels with laughter

Literary news: Hamlet fails Q and A test

Archives: Elvis donates foot-long sideburns to charity auction

And the Good News Award goes to: Chicken gets to other side, safely

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